So Long As You Live
by lannerz
Summary: (AU) Life at Casterly Rock has been very interesting for Catelyn Lannister ever since she was married to Tywin Lannister after Robert's Rebellion.


**Author's Notes:** More random Catwin. Because I write way too much of it. Someone has to though, right?

**Disclaimer: **GRRM owns all of these characters and also my soul. Sucks to be me.

**So Long as You Live**

Everything she'd done – everything she had ever done – had been for family. Their lives as they'd known it had been at stake. Hey had needed the Lannisters on their side; and it had been the only way to ensure it. She had been used as a pawn in marriage before; she would do it again, just with a completely different man from a completely different place. It could have been Lysa – it should have been Lysa – but then it would never have been in the first place. The moment it had been brought up, she had known it would be her. It had to be her. She was the oldest daughter; she would make the necessary sacrifices.

And in the end, it really hadn't been that much of a sacrifice at all.

"Tyrion, shouldn't you be doing your reading for the day?"

Though he was the height of a small child (and always would be), Tyrion Lannister was one and ten and already smarter than most. He had the wits of his father, if only his father could see. While he was not anywhere near as handsome as his older brother, when he smiled or when his face lit up when presented with a new book, however gruesome it might be at the time, she always thought it made him look sweet. He looked up and smiled at her now, a cheeky grin for a boy his age. "I finished already," he told her.

She playfully arched an eyebrow at him. "It's only mid-day. How could you possibly be finished already?"

"I'm a fast reader."

She sighed overdramatically and sat down on the grass next to him. "What are we going to do with you? At this rate, you'll be smarter than all the maesters of Oldtown by the time you're five and ten. And then who will be left to teach you? You will be teaching the teachers."

"There will always be more things for me to read," Tyrion pointed out, looking shy. She didn't think he was ever shy, except when he was around her. He had to learn how to be brave and take care of himself, in a way much different from Jaime. While his brother, a member of the Kingsguard, was fluent in swordplay and bravado, Tyrion had to learn how to armor himself with words and against words. People could be cruel and no words hurt worse than his father's. Tywin Lannister was an unforgiving and powerful man. She had done what she could to shield young Tyrion from the moment she'd been brought into this family, but she could not do everything and she could not shield Tyrion from his father's "lessons."

"My lady," the maester called as he walked towards them. She looked up at him, watching as he huffed to get over to them quickly. Honestly, he looked to be having more trouble than she was these days; and that was saying something. "My lady, your lord husband awaits your presence. He has just returned from King's Landing."

She didn't need to look over to see young Tyrion folding in on himself, trying to make himself even smaller than he already was. "You can tell him that I will be with him shortly, thank you." When she went to push herself onto her feet, the maester hesitated, meaning to help her, but she waved him away in agitation. "I can get up on my own, but if you don't hurry, I will most certainly beat you to Lord Tywin." That seemed to give the maester a hint and he began to waddle away as fast as he could. She gave Tyrion an encouraging smile. "Perhaps they finally consented to the new loan terms; and your father will be in good spirits."

"He's never in good spirits when it comes to me," Tyrion muttered darkly.

All she could do was give him a sad look as she finally got to her feet. "Will you do me a favor, Tyrion?" she asked. He nodded his head enthusiastically. "Will you go check on Sansa for me? She's with the septa, but perhaps you could read a story to her before we sup?"

"Can I read her the one about Florian and Jonquil?" Tyrion knew all the stories. He'd known them before she had joined their family nearly three years ago, as if he'd done what he could to soak up every bit of knowledge possible. "I bet she would like that one."

"Good choice," she agreed, nodding her head. She used to kiss him on the top of the head before she left, but now she could not do so, so she gave him another encouraging smile and then started for the castle. She knew that his study. It was always the first place he went to when he came back from one of his trips. He had to make sure that any documents were in the proper places before he did anything else. Some wives might be hurt by that, but she understood what he had to do. He was the richest man in Westeros, one of the most powerful as well; and that was not easy to come by. Disorganization brought nothing good.

By the time she reached his study, she felt out of breath and sore. Taking a deep breath, she rapped on the door and slowly pushed it open, peering inside. There was her lord husband, shuffling papers at his desk, with his back turned to her. She did her best to straighten up, placing a hand on the small of her back, and walked inside. "My lord?"

Lord Tywin turned around to gaze at her, and his eyes went directly to the large swell of her belly. "Catelyn," he greeted. "You look…"

"Swollen, I know." Catelyn Lannister smiled and swept a hand at her belly. She knew that Tywin would not return the smile, as he rarely (if ever) smiled, but that didn't bother her. She'd grown accustomed to her husband's ways over the past few years.

But Tywin walked over to her and pressed his hands against her belly. He was looking at the bump intently, as if he could see into her womb and knew all of what was going on, but he did not. What was growing inside of her worried Tywin, though he would never say it out loud. His late wife had passed away while giving birth a second time; and this would be Catelyn's second time too. Sansa's birth had gone smoothly as could be, but she knew that he wanted sons. She could only hope to give them to him. "Anymore news?"

"Well, considering my excessive size," Catelyn replied, "Maester Coleman thinks it's twins or even triplets."

There was a strange quirk in Tywin's mouth, but it was not a smile, per say. "Twins," he said. "That could cause complications."

"Then perhaps we should stop lying together as man and wife after I give birth." Catelyn gave him a look and then pushed his hands off her. She may have only been one and twenty, but that did not mean that Tywin, who had many more years on her, could treat her like a child. She was the Lady of Casterly Rock; and before that, she had been the Lady of Riverrun after her mother's death when Catelyn was six. She was not the type of person that could be easily walked on or told what to do. He'd learned that quickly enough, just as she'd learned how to respect him. "I'm not made of glass, Tywin. Stop treating me as such."

"The body can be more delicate than glass, when the right pressure is applied," Tywin pointed out when he looked up at her. He seemed agitated that she had pushed his hands away from her, but it was one way to get his attention focused on her and not the babies in her belly. He wasn't with her when his mind was there. It was like he was already planning her funeral.

Catelyn sighed and then took one of her husband's hands into hers. "I will be fine, Tywin," she told him, "and the children will be fine as well. One of them is a boy; I can feel it."

"An heir to Casterly Rock," Tywin said, looking down at her belly again.

Catelyn dropped his hand and frowned at him. "You already have an heir."

Tywin settled her with a look that probably made most men look away or immediately back down. Unfortunately for him, he had agreed to a marriage with a woman that was not most men. "If you're speaking of Tyrion–"

"You know I am."

"–then I will hear no more on the matter," Tywin finished, somewhat ruthlessly. He was like that though. There was nothing grey about him; he was so black and white, so cut and dry that his words cut people on a daily basis, like the Iron Throne itself. "We've talked about this before; and I grow even more tired of it each time. So long as I live, Tyrion will never inherit the Rock."

"I want the best for my sons, I truly do," Catelyn insisted, "but since Jaime is in the Kingsguard, it is Tyrion's by right–"

"No," Tywin interrupted coldly. "I will not have the monster that murdered Joanna in control of the Rock." Catelyn looked away from him. She could not say that she loved her husband, however fond of him she might be, in her own strange way. And she knew that he, too, was fond of her, though he might not have shown it like most people did. But sometimes, the ghost of Joanna Lannister sat in between them more than living people and it hurt more than she would ever say. "The Rock will be our son's, Catelyn. Our son – he will grow to be the most powerful man in Westeros, besides the king himself. Surely you want that for your child? Surely you dream of it?"

Catelyn could not deny it. Of course she wanted her son to inherit the Rock – but it wasn't right. She thought Tyrion was too smart for his own good sometimes, but he was so much like his father; he would be a great leader if only Tywin allowed himself to see it. And she so desperately wanted him to see it; she wanted him to see that Tyrion, despite his physical flaws and what had happened with Joanna, was a good son. But instead, she bit her lip and nodded her head in agreement. She could feel the children inside of her squirming, as if they too were already alive with their own wants and desires for their futures.

"You are a good woman, Catelyn," Tywin said, "if not a bit too kind."

She looked up at him sharply. "I can be not kind."

But Tywin kissed her forehead and shook his head. "I doubt it."

"I can be unkind," Catelyn insisted, and then she put a hand on her belly and felt a little kick. "I can be unkind if my children are threatened."

Tywin looked at her for a moment and then nodded his head. "Then know this, my lady," he told her. "As long as Tyrion lives, your children's lives and futures will be at stake. He will want what is theirs and one day, he will conspire against them, deluding himself into thinking that all this is his. And what will a kind, good-hearted lady like you do then?"

Catelyn did not know the answer and she prayed to the gods that she never would.


End file.
